Texting My Ex? Communicating With Your Ex When You Want Them Back

Today, this is probably the most common question you can ask after getting dumped. In a world where you've kept in constant contact with your boyfriend or girlfriend, should you just stop all that communication because the relationship ends? What if you and your ex want to stay friends? When is it okay to text your ex... and what subjects should be off limits?

The answers to those questions depend upon whether or not you're trying to get your ex back. If you still think you've got a shot at being together, maybe you've already tried a few things to get your ex interested in you again. Maybe you've been texting them, calling them, or emailing them about your feelings. Usually, this approach doesn't pan out very well. Winning someone back through electronic communication is a very hard and lonely path to reconciliation, and one that seldom works.

Even if you could text your ex, what would you say? The same everyday conversation falls flat after being dumped. You'd only make small talk... and overall it would be pretty lame. In time, you'd be asking your ex what he or she was doing this past weekend, and they'd interpret it for what it really is: you prying for information. Because when you want your ex back, every single conversation gets analyzed. You look for false hope in every word your ex says, and you check his or her daily schedule for any hint that your ex has moved on. Text-messaging your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend only leads to problems, and makes you come off as needy or desperate.

Communicating with your ex when you want them back should be kept at a very bare minimum, if at all. Before you can get back together with someone who broke up with you, they'll have to miss you first. Recapturing your ex's interest is an important aspect of reversing your break up, and this just won't happen through texting each other. There's nothing interesting about "Hey, what's up?" and "What are you doing right now?" every hour, on the hour. To get back a boyfriend or girlfriend, you need to turn off your cellphone and disappear for a while.

"But if I'm not texting my ex, won't they think I forgot about them?"

Yes - and that's a good thing. One of the best things you can do is make your ex start believing you've got better things to do rather than hang around on the phone all day with them. When your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend doesn't see any new messages from you, he or she will start to wonder what you're doing instead. By not chasing your ex you're conveying the impression that you have a life of your own, and that you're out doing other stuff that doesn't involve thinking about or having to contact them. Sending your ex text messages every day will accomplish just the opposite.

When you're ready to once again communicate, you'll need to know what to say. Texting or calling your ex out of the clear blue sky without any kind of clue or plan is going to end in disaster... you need to map out a blueprint for successfully getting your ex to want you back. Just as you study for a test or exam, and just as you practice before a game or performance, you need to have some sort of plan in place for winning your ex's heart. Trying to just "wing it" is always going to reduce the chances of getting a favorable response from your ex, whether you're texting them or not.